Friday, April 18, 2014

12th step work

Everything they said is true. I can't keep what I have unless I give it away. A few days ago I reached out to a newcomer who is many years in AA. She's got the AA program down, but not the Al-Anon side. She called me today and asked if we could meet before the meeting. I was elated to be of service, it is what I pray for in my morning 3rd step prayer. From this particular person it was especially meaningful. Because she is someone who hasn't really liked me. LOL. I won't go into it other than to say she had practiced "contempt prior to investigation" on me. I was grateful that her perspective is changing.

Before I left to go see her, my sponsor called. He is in his own crisis and reached out to me. It is the joy of my recovery to be of service to this man. He has been my friend for 10 years and I love him with all of my heart. I am grateful I was sane and in a good place to be of service. This is what we do for each other, this is what we MUST do for each other. We tend to each other's pain. Thank God.

After my meeting tonight a visitor from another state, an Al-Anon whose girlfriend is in my group, asked what I did for a living. I told him and asked why. He said he had heard my gratitude dinner talk on CD and complimented my speaking abilities. He glowingly raved about my ability to articulate and tell the story of my life in a way that made an impact. Well by now, I was over whelmed with the abundance of how my 12 stepping these 2 people, and so to receive this compliment? My cup runneth over.....And interestingly enough, tonight I shared about how much abundance and gratitude I am filled with. That I feel like I could drown in it all. It takes my breath away how I could live in this God infused world and not be that fearful little chicken anymore.

I am truly, truly grateful.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

My how I've grown

I have been on such an emotional, spiritual growth spurt the last 7 months. Even I can see it, and that's rarely the case. Or at least in early recovery. I heard through the office grapevine that my former friend who almost caused my firing had said something really very unkind about me. An insult towards my professionalism. It hurt. It ruminated in my head. I almost called him on it. But I restrained myself. I did nothing. I paused. Less than 24 hours later, I had to share a banquet table with him at a luncheon. I was polite and professional. I said nothing about the gossip of his insulting comment.

I guess I'm letting God take care of it. As in....running my life.


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

What I think in my mind will manifest in my body. Emotions are the body's reaction to a thought. This is what creates anxiety. The solution is to seek Gods help in "altering" my thoughts. Removing the ones killing me by replacing them with truth. And the truth is I am good because I have God.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Why do we have to do squats?

I go to the gym 4-5 times a week. I run the treadmill, do weights but I hate squats. They are the devils deal, they are. When I do them, they don't seem to hurt. Its the next day. And the day after. I'm walking like I'm 80. When I sit down to pee it aint pretty. I complain and bitch that squats are the devil.

But they give me a better ass.

And that's why I choose the 12 steps. They gave me a life worth living.